5 Moments That Drove Me Nuts In Last Night's Awesome Episode Of Game Of Thrones

 

Last night’s episode of Thrones was fantastic. I was everything I wanted. It was predictably satisfying. It was bloody. There was definitive answers. It was great. Ordinarily I’m not overly thrilled with the idea of episodes that are just one giant battle but each time Thrones finds a way to make them interesting for a majority of a show. Blackwater and the one at the Wall were both sick. Last night the Battle of the Bastards was no different. The piles of bodies, the infantry suffocating Snow’s Army, it was all fire.

So I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed last night’s episode. I watched in during the 3Q of last night’s game while Kyrie went off and I have no problem with that decision. It delivered enough that missing a portion of that game was OK with me. But there was a handful of moments last night that drove me nuts. A few moments that had me screaming at my television or scratching my head or just left infuriated because I was confused as fuck. The type of moments where the show almost loses you for a second and you say “well that was weird.” Ranked in order:

5. Ramsay killing Wun Wun when he could have just killed Jon Snow

I know Ramsay’s MO is to be a sick vindictive fuck and to not just kill people but torture them and everyone around they love and all that shit. I know its a super villain move to kill Wun Wun, the fan favorite Giant. But Ramsay had his back against the ropes. Had basically lost the battle twice. First on the battle field, then with the walls of Winterfell. Clear shot at Jon Snow and he just wasted it. I guess he knew he was fucked anyway and figured there would be a one on one showdown but still a moment that was like “Hmmm why didnt he just kill him?”

4. The Masters thinking they had the upper hand with Dany

I understand the Masters rolled up with their naval fleet and were fucking shit up. But as soon as they see Khaleesi they gotta know whats coming next, no? I guess they didnt know what her dragons were capable of? But I feel like in Thrones there are 2 great equalizers – dragons and White Walkers. You cant fuck with Dragons. Everyone knows that. You roll up on the Mother of Dragons you gotta know what you’re up against. So the whole time the Masters were standing their negotiating their terms all cocky, I was baffled. I was staring at the screen like “Dont you clowns know you’re about to get FLAMED?” Then the dragons came out and did exactly that and bingo bango the siege of Mareen was over. Perhaps as a casual fan I dont understand the dragon dynamic but that whole thing seemed to be stupid.

3. Sansa couldn’t give Jon Snow a heads up that she sent her letter to Littlefinger?

Prior to last night’s battle Jon Snow and Sansa stood there and argued about how many men they had. Ramsay had 6000, they only had half that. They were discussing strategy and how the armies match up and shit. Blatantly talking about how they were outnumbered. Jon yells about how they had gone to every different House asking for help. He says “when will we have a larger force??” And Sansa wouldnt even think to say “Hey I sent a letter to Littlefinger who’s got his army ready to roll. That might work.” You dont think Sansa should have been like, btw, we might get some major reinforcements from the most diabolical motherfucker in the 7 Kingdoms? I got that Super Ginger Pussy and he’ll probably come help me out. Might be something that you wanna bring up before the theoretical suicide mission your brother thinks he’s embarking on? I’m thinking things might have been managed a little different if he knew he might have the Knights of the Vale coming off the bench.

2. Jon Snow playing right into Ramsay’s hand after Sansa warned him

This wasnt really confusing or a strange plot point for me as much as it was just annoying. I know that we’ve see emotions get in the way of logic in Game of Thrones before. Especially with the Starks. Robb Stark got fucking everybody killed because of love. There’s plenty examples of loyalty and whats “right” getting in the way of what needs to be done. But Sansa just fucking laid it out for you, dude. She flat out told you it was sheets for Rickon and that you shouldn’t let him bait you into making a mistake. I dont really have a problem because like I said thats kind of a trait/flaw of the honorable Starks. But it was one of those moments I was watching him right out in the middle of the battlefield by himself saying “This motherfucker. Is he serious? Are you for fucking real, man?” Which I suppose is a good thing. I’m sure that was the point. But at the same time a little silly how that battle was almost over before it started because he got played so easily instantly.

1. Fucking Rickon running in a directly straight line letting Ramsay mow him down

Hey RICKON. Word of advice. Zig zag. Stutter step. Change of pace. Change of direction. Run left. Run right. Barrel roll. Fucking ANYTHING. SOMETHING. Run half way down the battlefield, turn around, watch him shoot the arrow, and move out of the way. Run a little more, repeat. Buy you dumb half brother some time. Instead of just running straight down the fucking fairway like an idiot.

 

Rickon definitely fucking sucked and was nothing but dead weight but hes still a Stark. Still grew up in this mythical medieval fantasy world. You dont think he knew how to at least run a serpentine route?? Serpentine! SERPENTINE!!!

Dumb fucking Rickon needed to move like SIX INCHES in either direction and had like 5 chances to do it. Instead hes dead as fuck and almost ruined the whole Battle of the Bastards. Glad hes dead. Wish you would take that loser Bran with you.